Join me on a trip to Sherlock Holmes's London!

[dolorous_ett]

I'm feeling all sorry for myself because I'm stuck in the office catching up on what I thought would be a free Saturday. And so - as ever - I'm taking refuge in a fantasy world.

This tims it's Victorian London and a Sherlock Holmes mystery.

Watson looks out of the window.

"Holmes, there is a madman coming down the street. Poor fellow! That his relatives should let him out alone!" 

And that's just the beginning...

So who would you like to be this time? The mysterious stranger? The doughty but terrified young lady of good family? The cheery, hearty young man who is engaged to marry her but may be hiding a secret of his own? The sinister, cloaked figure who lurks at the side of the action? The cackling crone? A street urchin?

Or do you have a clue for me?

Comments

[dolabellae.livejournal.com]

Can I be a young bluestocking who lives in genteel poverty in Marylebone (if I hadn't read Gissing I wouldn't have known it were possibly ::sigh...::), spends most of her days trying to keep warm in the Reading Room of the British Library writing articles for the literary papers which she submits under an assumed name, and usually has inkstained fingers? Will that do for a Holmes mystery? I (speak it low) have only read a couple of the stories...

corrected for grammar mistake

[dolorous-ett.livejournal.com]

"Do sit down, Miss Dolabella," said Holmes, indicating an easy chair close to the fire. "I trust you will find it more to your taste than those in the Reading Room, and Mrs Hudson's scones more satisfactory than those of your landlady. No Marylebone lodging-house-keeper, in my experience, is capable of producing a decent scone... Oh, and you may set your mind at rest. After all your weeks of reivision and editing, your next paper is certain to set the literary world on fire."

The young woman raised her eyes to his face in astonishment.

"Mr Holmes, surely you are some kind of magician!" she said in suprise. "How can you possibly know all that?"

Re: corrected for grammar mistake

[swythyv.livejournal.com]

*You* are the magician, dolorous ett. Perfectly amazing!

(Sorry to be such an intermittent correspondent. I hope for better days.) :D

Re: corrected for grammar mistake

[dolorous-ett.livejournal.com]

*blushes*

Nice to hear from you again! I hope all's well...

I can't do the Holmesian style, especially not when talking abt scones...

[dolabellae.livejournal.com]

(so an uneasy mix of comedy/melodrama will have to do...)

The scones were indeed excellent, and Miss Laura Dolabella wondered wistfully for a moment whether it would be possible for her to secrete one, or perhaps two, in her capacious bag to beguile the evening hours. But a sense of propriety, and, perhaps more strongly, the consideration of the effect such might have on the precious notes and volumes already stowed within, staved off temptation, and instead she put her teacup down with a decided clatter.

"You are mistaken, Mr Holmes, if you think it is a selfish concern for my own work which has brought me here. I have a younger sister, Sarah..."

She bit her lip, not only in distress at her sister's plight, but in sudden panicked conviction that the piercing eyes of the man opposite her could see that Sarah's entanglement with Abraxas Malfoy was not all that troubled her, could see beyond to the deepest fear of all...

[saralinda.livejournal.com]

I would like to be Holmes&Watson's mildly crotchety charwoman. No, I mean really.

[dolorous-ett.livejournal.com]

Any housekeeper for Holmes and Watson (especially Holmes) has excellent reason to be very crochety indeed - I bow to your restraint!

"Thirty years I've done for this house, ever since my Arthur was taken from me, but never in all me life and time have I seen such a thing, Mr Watson! Dirty plates on the floor, dirty dishes in the coal scuttle, tobacco in the shoes and all that nasty blood everywhere! No, this time it's too much - one more corpus on the floor, Napoleon of crime or no, and I shall have to give me notice! It's more than flesh and blood can stand!"

[themolesmother.livejournal.com]

I'll go for the hearty young man. In the Holmes stories these types are usually hiding more than one dodgy secret ...

MM

[dolorous-ett.livejournal.com]

"Thank you, Mr Holmes! Thank you Doctor!" The young man wrung my hand firmly, his frank blue eyes alight with gratitude.

The door slammed behind him and we both heard his foosteps recede down the step at a rapid clip.

"Quickly, Watson!" Holmes hissed in my ear. "The back door is unmarked - if you make haste you may follow him unseen."

"But Holmes," I protested. "You cannot possibly mean... such a fine young man!"

"I do not say that Master Grundy Purfitt is the driving power behind this case," said Holmes, "but he is certainly a young man out of his depth in very murky waters indeed. If he does not lead you - and within the next half hour - to his master, I shall give up detecting for good, and devote myself to good works. Now run along, man, and do not let him out of your sight, for more than one life hangs in the balance tonight!"

[dolorous-ett.livejournal.com]

Holmes smiled at the formidable matron in his most urbane manner.

"Pray be seated, Mrs O'Mean," he said. "I believe you will find this the most comfortable chair. No - " as the good lady opened her mouth to speak, "you need not put yourself to any further exertion. I realise that those sections of society in which you move do not look on my activities in the criminal underworld with anything save the frostiest disapproval. Nonetheless, madam, permit me to congratulate you! The coach that is drawn up outside, the set of your hat, the state of your gloves and - if you will permit me to be so bold - the state of your gloves speak as clearly to me as any London preacher. It is your resolution in approaching me that has saved four - no, five - young women from a fate worse than death."

[dolorous-ett.livejournal.com]

*blushes*

corrected for typo

[dolorous-ett.livejournal.com]

Holmes smiled at the formidable matron in his most urbane manner.

"Pray be seated, Mrs O'Mean," he said. "I believe you will find this the most comfortable chair. No - " as the good lady opened her mouth to speak, "you need not put yourself to any further exertion. I realise that those sections of society in which you move do not look on my activities in the criminal underworld with anything save the frostiest disapproval. Nonetheless, madam, permit me to congratulate you! The coach that is drawn up outside, the set of your hat, the state of your gloves and - if you will permit me to be so bold - the condition of your shoes speak as clearly to me as any London preacher. It is your resolution in approaching me that has saved four - no, five - young women from a fate worse than death."

[bookwormsarah.livejournal.com]

As the bluestocking is taken, can I be the rebellious younger sister of the innocent person suspected by everyone? Either that or a street urchin with a sideline in pickpocketting Vital Clues...

[dolorous-ett.livejournal.com]

"Disgraceful!" I burst out indignantly as soon as the young woman had left the room. "To take such advantage of her sister's good name and hard work, dragging them both heedlessly into the pit of infamy!"

"Extreme, certainly," Holmes replied with the most aggravating nonchalance. "However, though foolhardy and refreshingly heedless of social mores, Miss Sarah Dolabella is as innocent of the theft of the Codex as is her sister. Indeed, as long as she remains in thrall to Abraxas Malfoy she will be in the gravest of peril. And now, Watson, we must delay no longer. The trap is set... but who will walk into it, I wonder?"

The Prime Minister, Lord Bapton, arrives upon the scene....

[wemyss.livejournal.com]

The great statesman's eagle eye was fixed upon Holmes.

'My dear sir, I can afford to be less discreet than must your brother. You must see that in the present state of European affairs, these puzzles of the police court are of comparatively little moment. Your indefatigable chronicler,' said he, with a slight bow in my direction, 'has given it out that you profess an ignorance of affairs and read only the agony columns, but surely you are aware that the negotiations with Italy are at a crisis. I may say that there is a gracious lady at Windsor who waits anxiously to hear that you will assist us.'

Holmes threw up his hands. 'The Prime Minister I could, perhaps, resist, but such a commission? What would your lordship have of us?'

The noble premier gave no hint of triumph in his having worn Holmes down. 'There is a young man attached to the Italian diplomatic suite, a Count Dolabella, who is said to have connexions in this country. He is also, by common repute, an expert in the development of cypher messages, having had mathematical tutoring from the late Professor Moriarty. Ah, I see that you take my meaning, sir.'

Re: The Prime Minister, Lord Bapton, arrives upon the scene....

[dolorous-ett.livejournal.com]

I don't think I can cap that - I wouldn't like even to try.

Save to remark that, to Mr Sherlock Holmes, Lord Bapton will always be the Prime Minister...

[snorkackcatcher]

Hmm ... *brainstorms* how about a Royal Artillery sergeant just returned from India, and now the recipient of mysterious warning letters delivered by a cloaked stranger to say that he will never live to see his fifth wedding anniversary with Cicely (which is a bit odd, as his wife's name is Mabel)?

(I thought I recognised that quote, but I had to go and look up the story titles to trigger my recollection of which one it actually came from. The Beryl Coronet!)

[dolorous-ett.livejournal.com]

It is indeed the Beryl Coronet - well spotted! One of dozens of brilliant openings - one of the things I love about Conan Doyle is the way he starts off his stories.

Will have to sleep on the Royal Artillery sergeant (who is also left-handed and suffers from corns)...

[dolorous-ett.livejournal.com]

"...recently returned from India and a devoted amateur biologist."

"Why, Mr Holmes, it is just as you say!" exclaimed Sergeant Snorks. "You have detected me down to the very boots I stand up in - but what will you make of this letter?"

Holmes took the crumpled note in silence, and smoothed it out on the table.

"Written on a typewriter of the more old-fashioned type," he stated. "Typed by a man or woman unaccustomed to manual labour, possibly a victim of some accident or disease of the brain, and with a fondness for tripe and onions... Well, Sergeant Snorks, I think this letter has told us all it can. And now, with your permission, we should return to your lodgings and consult with Cecily."

"But, sir!" the Sergeant protested, "my wife's name is Mabel!"

"Indeed?" said Holmes. "Well, sir, it grieves me very much to say it, but your good lady may not have been entirely frank with you. Shall we proceed?"

[snorkackcatcher]

Heh. Holmes is just made for pastiching, isn't he?

[dolorous-ett.livejournal.com]

I wish you hadn't said that - I'm now seized with the urge to write HP-fic featuring Sherlock Holmes being called out by Phineas Nigellus to solve a mystery at Hogwarts...

*beats off plot bunnies with stick*

[dbassassin.livejournal.com]

Hmm, the street urchin is taken.

Perhaps a bluff and slightly clueless police inspector who accidentally comes across an Important and Unexpected Clue The Changes the Direction of the Investigation.

[dolorous-ett.livejournal.com]

"Well, Mr Holmes," said Inspector Bunney with an air of almost intolerable satisfaction, "we do the best we can - and one villain, at least, is off the streets of London tonight. I trust this episode will convince you that such matters are best left to the professionals!"

"Indeed!" said Holmes with a sneer that caused the good Inspector to recoil in alarm. "I am sure we shall all sleep more sweetly tonight knowing that a master forger of brass candle-snuffers and cheap souvenirs is safely under lock and key! I, however, have more weighty matters to concern me - the very fate of the nation is at stake! Come, Watson, let us leave the Inspector to triumph while we bring the real killer to justice!"

[dbassassin.livejournal.com]

Hahaha!

an air of almost intolerable satisfaction

I'll take that as a directive for the next time I have to listen to some nitwit whine that the vital records they "archived" on CD three years ago--against our advice--are now corrupted and unreadable.

[pasi.livejournal.com]

"The light of the streetlamp hardly pierced the swirling fogs of the night, yet I knew the cloaked figure on the corner was the same one I had seen earlier that afternoon."

Or something like that. Anyway, the cloaked figure is far less sinister than he seems at first glance and probably holds the solution to this very interesting little problem...

[dolorous-ett.livejournal.com]

"The light of the streetlamp hardly pierced the swirling fogs of the night, yet I knew the cloaked figure on the corner was the same one I had seen earlier that afternoon. Mr Holmes, you must help me! Followed wherever I go - safe neither by night nor day - I am at my wits' end!"

"Pray compose yourself, Miss Dolabella," Holmes replied. "and do take a glass of sherry for your nerves. No? As you wish. My dear young lady, do please be calm. Your fears are groundless. The shrouded figure that haunts you is none other than our good Inspector Parsey, who is dogging your steps in the belief that you have the Codex concealed somewhere about your person."

[pasi.livejournal.com]

Your fears are groundless. The shrouded figure that haunts you is none other than our good Inspector Parsey, who is dogging your steps in the belief that you have the Codex concealed somewhere about your person."

Whew, that's a relief! I don't suppose he's right, though. The Inspectors never are.

[dolorous-ett.livejournal.com]

I imagine the Codex as being one of those really huge books that even someone very plump couldn't conceal under a crinoline without someone noticing... No disrespect to that excellent fellow Inspector Parsey, of course, who is only doing his job...

[aerama.livejournal.com]

*is sorry for your should-be-free-Saturday*

Erf...how about a jovial Professor of Literature who has actually read 5 out of Holmes' 100 tomes on various subjects and may or may not have seen something that would help Holmes immensely just now...

[dolorous-ett.livejournal.com]

The butler ushered us in to a book-lined study, where a portly gentleman of mature years was seated by a roaring fire. He rose to greet us.

"Why, Mr Holmes!" he explained, beaming. "Can it be the Mr Sherlock Holmes, author of that most masterly treatise on the criminal masterminds of ancient Rome? Of the monograph on the use of whalebone in criminal investigations? The genuis who unmasked the Rembrandt plagiarist?"

Holmes bowed.

"You do me too much honour, sir," he replied gravely. "Trifles all, mere trifles. Today, I very much regret to say, I am here on a far graver matter - indeed, no less than five lives and the happiness of another dozen individual are hanging by a thread, and you alone, Professer Ayer, can help."

"You require my help?" said Professor Ayer, beaming. "Anything in my power to do, you have but to ask. Name it, Mr Holmes, and it shall be done!"

"Very well," Holmes replied. "Have you by any chance remarked the state of your under-gardener's hat?"

On a gently rocking tide

[nineveh-uk.livejournal.com]

sits the Thames bargeman who may or may not be trustworthy