(no subject)

[dolorous_ett]

Here's a nice thing I found in a_t_rain 's journal.

From rynne:

Take the one ship in this fandom you really can't stand (if there's more than one, pick the one you like least), and post in your journal what is good about that ship. No sarcasm allowed--be sincere, though you don't have to pretend you don't like your favorite ship. Just try to find something you like about that ship you hate.

 

I don’t really believe in any of the ships in Harry Potter. The only time I think a given ship might work is when I’m reading a fic by one of the more talented authors, who can carry me along with their story – but only while I’m actually reading the thing. As soon as I’ve stopped reading, scepticism returns.

For similar reasons, I there aren’t many ships I really, truly won’t read (with the exception of incest. I really, really hope I don’t need to explain why that is). After all, you are looking at someone whose only completed fanfic in general circulation is Bartemius Crouch Senior/Golden Snitch. But there are some I find myself avoiding, either because I find the shippers’ arguments unconvincing and annoying, or because the ship’s generally very badly handled. Everyone who did this meme seems to have picked Sirius/Remus, so I’ll have a go at Harry/Ginny. And then Snape/Squid, because if I’ve talked myself into shipping Harry/Ginny that should be child’s play.

Placed behind a cut to protect those of a nervous disposition. 

Harry and Ginny – You Know It Makes Sense
As you’ll already have gathered, I don’t think this ship is going to push Cathy and Heathcliff into obscurity any time soon. But if I was looking to create long-term happiness and stability (something Cathy and Heathcliff never achieved), then I think this is a relationship with enormous potential.
 1.       They have the kind of understanding only possible among those who have known each other since they were children. On top of this, both have had run-ins with Lord Voldemort, and so will be able to sympathise with each other’s traumas instead of being appalled by them.
2.       Ginny has grown up in OotP, and is now able to deal with Harry on an equal footing, instead of gazing at him in a besotted way, which was making both of them very uncomfortable.
3.       Ginny has seen six brothers go through adolescence. However caps-locky Harry gets, she isn’t going to be particularly shocked. Or impressed.
4.       Harry loves the warmth of the Weasley family, and plainly idealises large, happy families. But he doesn’t have a clue how to make them work. Ginny does. Moreover, given her parentage, Ginny is certain to be fertile. They will have a huge support network on the Weasley side, and no problem finding babysitters. Besides, with such in-laws, the Dursleys are certain to keep their distance.
5.       Ron will not be able to raise anything more than a token objection, as he’s made it plain that this is what he wanted all along – any other suitor for Ginny’s hand is going to find himself in trouble.
6.       Ginny will have Harry’s undivided attention, instead of just being the smallest of a large group.
7.       Harry has inherited a small fortune. For the first time, Ginny will be able to buy everything new instead of second-hand. But at the same time, Harry is used to having nothing, and would never look down on her for not bringing a large dowry.

 Now for something completely different. 

Snape/squid – You Know You Want To
1.       With both, we never get to see more than the tip of the iceberg, and no more than hints as the great, hidden depths beneath.
2.       Both have a kind of slimy, viscous sheen to them. Ordinary humans find it greasy and repellent – but Snape plainly delights in it. How else do you explain That Hair?
3.       Both have long, elegant, dextrous, pale manipulating digits.
4.       The Squid is completely immune to sarcasm. Snape is impervious to fishy stares.
5.       During term time it is the perfect working relationship – when Snape, reaching the end of his tether, kicks his little charges into the lake, the Squid is on hand to ensure that no-one actually drowns.
6.       Snape detests children. With the Squid, there is no danger that he might suddenly acquire some of his own. He’s got enough problems without having to start picking baby names and acting all Redeemed.

Comments

[a-t-rain.livejournal.com]

Oh dear, this is so well-argued that I think Snape / Squid might actually be my new OTP, which I'm sure was not your intention. (Now hoping that the infamous "Veela Charm and the Dark-Haired Man," a.k.a. "Love Squid" will turn out to have a surprise Snape / Squid ending...)

[dolorous-ett.livejournal.com]

Oh, what kind things you say!

Oh dear, this is so well-argued that I think Snape / Squid might actually be my new OTP, which I'm sure was not your intention.

Well, no, it wasn't. But I did end up finding it more sympathetic than the idea of marital bliss I was attempting to promote with Harry/Ginny, which seemed to get more uncomfortable and smothering the more I tried to justify it. Compared to that, Snape/Squid really was a pushover.

(Now hoping that the infamous "Veela Charm and the Dark-Haired Man," a.k.a. "Love Squid" will turn out to have a surprise Snape / Squid ending...)

I'm afraid it's so infamous that it's passed me by completely. Would you mind spelling it out for me?

[a-t-rain.livejournal.com]

"Veela Charm and the Dark-Haired Man" is an epic tale of Love Potions, Horrible Dark Shadows from the Forest, and a Squid With a Secret. It can be found here. (N.B. Due to the author's taste for creative spelling, this story is probably best read while under the influence of your mind-altering substance of choice, but is amusing even when sober.)

[hannahmarder.livejournal.com]

I liked your arguments in favour of Snape/Squid - who'd have thought they had so much in common :-). It rather proves my suspicion that a plausible case can be made for any ship or theory if the writer is clever enough! Anyway, it made me laugh. I think I might have a go myself, though I don't know what pairing to do.

[lareinenoire.livejournal.com]

Y'know, you've completely sold me on a new OTP.

::grin::

I knew Snape was hiding something. And that really does explain the hair...

[lareinenoire.livejournal.com]

Oh, and an unrelated query.

Is your username from 'A Song of Ice and Fire', by chance? A certain extremely depressing member of the Night's Watch?

[dolorous-ett.livejournal.com]

*gloomy sigh* Spot on. Four days of livejournal and I've been decoded... Story of my life.

You're quite right. I've got a lot of time for Dolorous Edd - the constant pessimism is his most obvious trait, but he's a huge force for good in his miserable way.

My real-life name doesn't really abbreviate - but a girl at school used to call me Ett. And since I have a certain fellow-feeling for Dolorous Edd... well, you get the picture.

Fantastic series, isn't it? Can't wait for Book IV...

[dolorous-ett.livejournal.com]

And a fine job you did of it - well done!

[dolorous-ett.livejournal.com]

Curious how everyone's picked up on the Squid.

I hope I don't end up spawning a new generation of Squidfics. Is the world prepared?

[lareinenoire.livejournal.com]

Makes perfect sense to me. And yes, it's an amazing series. I've been on tenterhooks since...oy...summer of 2002, waiting for that book.

Hope you don't mind, but I've friended you. Not a stalker, I promise.

[dolorous-ett.livejournal.com]

Thank you. When I have the time to drink that bottle of Theakstons Old Peculier I have stashed away at the back of my cupboard, I'll brave "Veela Charm and the Dark-Haired Man".

Too bad you can't give fics that kind of rating in real life - Sober, Tiddly, Bladdered and Unconscious instead of the more conventional cinema ratings you see in fanfic.

[dolorous-ett.livejournal.com]

Delighted to make your aquaintance! And I'll friend you back, if that's all the same to you.

If you're really hungry for Song of Ice and Fire, there's a sample chapter on Martin's website at www.georgerrmartin.com (I think - I found it by googling with the author's name). But perhaps you've seen it already?

[lareinenoire.livejournal.com]

Oh yes! Read it...and I don't know if you saw in the mass-market paperback US version of the third book, but there's more than one chapter at the end. New POV as well. I want *more*!

[dolorous-ett.livejournal.com]

The chance came sooner than I expected - a colleague left work today and I drank more pleasant white wine than was quite good for me. So - while sobering up enough to continue with normal work - "Veela Charm and the Dark-Haired Man".

Jesus.
H.
Christ.

Words fail me.

At least I'll be a bit more careful how I behave when I'm around potted plants in future.

You could be right about the Love Squid. Better not to try to second-guess this woman - anything could happen.

I particularly treasured the line "I think owls are scary cause they look so wierd".

I will never drink again.

[a-t-rain.livejournal.com]

I particularly treasured the line "I think owls are scary cause they look so wierd".

I think this is my favorite passage:

“I am not going to fall in love! I never fall in love!

Snape ferociously vociferated.

Um. Hope you weren't too traumatized by the experience.

[dolorous-ett.livejournal.com]

Not to worry. I'm OK. Though I think the English language is finding it hard to recover!

There's certainly a lot to enjoy in this - though I hadn't expected quite such a treasure trove as that. I will never scoff at faries at the bottom of the garden again - not when some people get Veelas teleporting all over, and squids tripping down the path on the tips of their tentacles. Not to mention the dove menace - guano all over the shop...

I wonder if this was inspired by "The Young Visiters" by Daisy Ashford?