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This chapter is a slight misnomer - most of the revelations actually occur in Chapter 4. I just thought it would be fun to keep you guessing a little longer about some of the details...
Chapter 1 can be found here.
Chapter 2 can be found here.
Chapter 3: Revelations Aboard the Hogwarts Express
For all its lamentable effect on my health, my time in Afghanistan had taught me how to pack quickly and efficiently, and within an hour I was all prepared and ready to turn in. The same could not be said for my friend. Although uniquely gifted with a razor-sharp mind, Holmes was extremely lax in his personal habits, and I slept but poorly that night due to the thumps, crashes and curses that issued from next door, as Holmes attempted to muster his possessions for the trip ahead. It was plain that he was expecting our trip to be of some duration.
It seemed that I had barely got my head down before I was awakened by a violent banging at the door.
“Watson!” came Holmes’s voice, disgustingly cheery for that early hour, “Don’t hang about, man, it’s half past five! Our breakfast is on the table, together with a pot of Mrs Hudson’s excellent coffee. Make haste, or we will miss our train!”
Despite his late night, Holmes was in excellent humour, and almost before I had the chance to finish the brimming plate that had been sent out for me, he was chivvying me out of the door and into a waiting cab.
“But Holmes,” I protested with some heat, as he jumped nimbly into the cab beside me, “our train does not leave until past nine! There is no need for this unseemly haste!”
“No time for that now!” he snapped, as he hurled a small package out of the window into the hands of an astounded milkman on his rounds. “Drive on, cabman!”
I would be hard put to say whether the route on which he took us was more remarkable for its strangeness or for its length. As dawn broke over London, we rode from some of the proudest and most majestic streets in Europe, to some of the vilest, most degraded slums to shame the nation, and back again, stopping at irregular intervals for Holmes to leap out of the vehicle, either to post a letter or on some other strange errand. I waited in the cab as he rang on the door of the American Embassy and ran away; stopped outside a grimy, run-down lodging house, where Holmes handed the landlady a bundle of what appeared to be dirty linen, to wait until called for; we paused outside an obscure office in Whitehall as he turned the doormat upside down, and then we proceeded to the fish market at Billingsgate, where he bargained heatedly with several vendors before purchasing a large salmon, which he presented with a flourish to the astonished commissionaire at the door of our next stop – the Ritz.
“Here, mister,” said the cabbie, as Holmes sprang once more from the carriage to present a bunch of roses to an elderly charwoman on her way to work, “is this friend o’ yours queer in the head, to carry on like that?”
“Queer in the head?” I exclaimed indignantly. “You are in the presence of the greatest detective in the land – Mr Sherlock Holmes!”
“Cor!” exclaimed our driver in tones of deep satisfaction, “Sherlock Holmes! Well, I never! Wait till I tell the lads at the pub about this! Sherlock Holmes – in my cab!” He made no further complaint for the rest of the journey.
We arrived at King’s Cross, already somewhat travel-weary, just as the clock was striking nine. Holmes paid the driver a sovereign for his trouble, and he drove away in high good humour, cracking his whip and calling out over his shoulder: “I hope he swings for it, mister!” We had barely a chance to draw breath and gather up our belongings when we were accosted by a wheezing Weaselby, his titian hair sticking up at even more improbable angles than the previous day.
“Where have you been?” he gasped. “I had hoped to talk with you about – oh – but now there is no time – we must get you through the gate or you will miss your train! Oh! Why did you not come earlier?”
Gripping each of us by the arm, he steered us not to the usual turnstiles, but through a warren of back rooms, storerooms and deserted offices, to emerge once more into daylight on a bustling platform, where I caught a brief glimpse of a brightly dressed, bustling crowd of people boarding a long train. Something about the scene seemed strangely out of kilter, but before I had a chance to put my finger on what aspect of the prospect disconcerted me so much, the train let off steam with a shriek, and the whole platform was obscured in a whirling mist. Weaselby led us rapidly through the thinning fog to the last first-class carriage and handed us aboard, followed by our luggage. Still, he seemed reluctant to depart.
“Have a good journey,” he said. “I hope to have the pleasure of speaking to you again at Hogwarts, Mr Holmes, when you are more at leisure.”
“I do not wish to associate with you, Weaselby,” retorted my friend. “You are in the pay of Phineas Nigellus Black, and listen to keyholes on his behalf. Good day to you!”
Weaselby looked like he had a good deal to reply to that last comment, but before he had a chance to speak, the guard’s whistle blew, and he had barely time to leap clear before the train started to move.
Holmes settled himself in his seat, and stretched his legs out in front of him.
“Well?” I inquired impatiently. “Now will you tell me what all this is about? Where are we going? Who is the mysterious Headmaster? What was the meaning of that ridiculous cab journey? Why were you so abrupt with the unfortunate Weaselby? And most of all, what kind of school calls itself Hogwarts?”
“Not now, Watson,” Holmes replied. “This morning’s activities have wearied me, and I find myself much in need of a restorative nap. I would recommend that you do the same – we will both stand in need of all our faculties when we arrive at our destination.”
And with that, he leaned back, tipped his tweed hat over his eyes and fell into a profound slumber.
I stared at my friend in exasperation. I was burning with curiosity, but many years of association had taught me that no good could possibly come of attempting to wake him at this juncture. I consoled myself by surveying my surroundings. I consider myself something of a connoisseur of trains, having visited almost every part of the British Isles either as Holmes’s assistant or on commissions of my own as a physician, but this seemed to be an unusually fine specimen, and I resolved to explore. Our compartment, one of several, all of which were unoccupied, was lit by globe-shaped lamps of an unusual design, with a door leading onto a corridor carpeted in luxurious Chinese rugs into which my boots slipped almost to the ankles. At the end of the corridor was a heavy, brass-bound door, which, much to my disappointment was locked, as was the door at the other end of the carriage.
Disappointed, I returned to our compartment, where, although Holmes remained obdurately asleep, I found much to console me in the view that was speeding past outside our window. We had left the grimy centre of London behind us, and were now passing through some of the city’s trimmer and more pleasing suburbs. Soon even these petered out, and we were travelling through the rolling farmland of the Home Counties, interspersed with clumps of trees weighed down with the last dark green leaves of summer. The storm had blown itself out at last, and a weak, watery sunshine pervaded the landscape. I watched the scene in delight for a while, but the warm sunshine and gentle of the motion of the train began to have their effect on me also. I felt my eyelids grow heavy, and fell at last into an uneasy slumber.
I woke some hours later, as our train was passing through Durham, to find Holmes watching me.
“Well, Watson,” he said, “I see you have been exploring our noble conveyance. Have you found anything to our advantage?”
I knew a trick worth several of that, however.
“The pile on the rug showed you where I had walked, and no doubt I left some fingerprints on the door handle,” I replied impatiently. “And if you have been there you will also know that I found nothing of any use. Why, I could not even get into the next carriage! But never mind that! Where are we going, and what the devil will we find when we get there?”
Holmes sighed, seeming uncharacteristically reluctant to explain himself.
“Then I must begin at the beginning,” he said. “It will take some time – are you quite comfortable? Would you care for a smoke before we begin? Is the light shining in your eyes? – shall I pull down the blinds? Would you care for one of Mrs Hudson’s beef dripping sandwiches? Or perhaps some bottled beer?”
“Holmes, for pity’s sake!” I exclaimed.
“Forgive me, old friend,” he said sadly. “I have merely been attempting to postpone the evil moment. Very well then, let us begin with the story of my brother.”
“Mycroft?” I exclaimed. “You mean that Mycroft is embroiled in this mystery too?”
“Not Mycroft,” replied Holmes softly, “or at least not directly. The story begins with our late elder brother, Marchmont.”
Aaargghh ...
Date: 2007-05-09 05:43 pm (UTC)I know just how poor Watson feels.
Roll on the next chapter!
MM
Re: Aaargghh ...
Date: 2007-05-09 05:50 pm (UTC)(If it makes you feel any better, I was thinking at one point of ending Chapter 3 where Holmes decides he wants a little shut-eye...)
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Date: 2007-05-09 06:04 pm (UTC)So there's a way onto Platform 9¾ for Muggles then? Interesting.
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Date: 2007-05-10 12:41 pm (UTC)Sigursson? Oh no - that would be silly!
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Date: 2007-05-09 06:19 pm (UTC)As a very unimportant PS, I wonder whether Holmes would really have enjoyed a pot of coffee rather than a pot of tea? And I ask this as an Englishwoman :)
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Date: 2007-05-10 12:44 pm (UTC)I can see what you mean. On the other hand, Holmes has a very pronounced Bohemian streak as well - tobacco in a Persian slipper, investigations into the Giant Rat of Sumatra etc - not to mention a fondness for stimulants! Which doesn't rule out him liking tea altogether, of course...
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Date: 2007-05-09 07:23 pm (UTC)"Disgustingly cheery" - oh I know those persons well. And they should all be shot. Sorry, A. C. Doyle (again).
I want to know what that package is!!! And why to the milkman? Who is he? A street urchin agent in disguise? Was it a Time-Turner? A box of owl treats??
And I'm so sorry but I couldn't help but see this - plus I want you to be acclaimed the world round without censure. So - typo:
"into the hands an astounded milkman on his rounds" i.e., no 'of', which I am sure was there but stepped out for a pint and got detained on a larsony charge.
I love the Holmes leaping-out-and-doing-strange-things bit. Poor Watson, always kept in the dark.
Just what is that cabbie going to tell his lads about Holmes, eh? *suspicious* Though I guess one can glorify anyone with the right tone.
A wheezing Weaselby. Weaselby's Wheezing Whimseys. Oh yes. With the improbable titian hair. Brilliant.
And oh does he remind me of the White Rabbit or what?? The whole "hello we must be going" - love it. Weaselby's Wheezing White Rabbits, 10p.
Let me say that I love your scenery. Your descriptive powers are immense. The "warren of back rooms, storerooms and deserted offices," and then emerging into the daylight, was so clear in my mind that I felt I was there.
I like this back way onto Platform 9 3/4s, if that's what it is; makes sense that there'd be an easier way to get to it (sort of) instead of banging through a brick wall. Bet the brick wall business was done for security measures. Well, maybe. It didn't occur to me until I read that comment above that it was the Muggle way to go. Hmm. Does that mean that a Muggle would really bang into a brick column if attempting the way we know? Anyway that's neither here nor there. But it's curious.
And damn, Holmes! You sure told Weaselby. He'll be glad of his White Rabbit job after this.
I love how Watson wants to know why the school is called Hogwarts most of all. And Holmes with his Oh dear, must sleep now gambit - that Holmes!!
Ah, I love trains. This one in particular does not disappoint, at all. Once more your description works wonders, as does the "weak, watery sunshine." So much I can picture, so clear. Love it!
AND OH ANOTHER BROTHER! Oh, that's brilliant. BRILLIANT. This is going to be so good. Not that it wasn't already, but I can sink my teeth into a mysterious deceased brother. Yay!!
Typo: "Why, I could not even get into the next carriage along!" Figure you'd rather know than not know. Plus I do that kind of thing ALL the time and don't know why. I think my fingers & brain are playing tricks on me.
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Date: 2007-05-10 12:51 pm (UTC)Thank you - it's much better to know about typos than not! I posted this chapter in a bit of a hurry - next time I think I'll sleep on it before I put anything up.
(I changed "the next carriage along" even though I'm pretty sure it would have been OK in British English - you can say "the next one along" for the next in a series of things. But simplest is best!)
Thank you for such a long and thorough review! It's such a treat to see that someone's spotted all my little details...
I had them go in the back way rather than through the brick wall because Weaselby would never have been able to persuade both Holmes and Watson to walk at speed towards a solid wall - or to take one in and leave the other outside pointing hysterically at the entrance to the platform! Though I must say that I like some of the other solutions very much too...
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Date: 2007-05-10 01:20 pm (UTC)I was thinking it should have been "next carriage alone!" due to emphasis on how frantic/crowded things were, but now I see that it was, in fact, quite all right. Change it back! :)
I think it's going to be part of history now, the back way to Platform 9 3/4.
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Date: 2007-05-10 01:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-10 02:11 pm (UTC)The "along" is staying out, on balance - better to keep things simple if there's room to be misunderstood.
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Date: 2007-05-11 03:28 am (UTC)But I have a new Owl and as always if you fancy him, you can take him. Since of late I've been thinking of you as the Professor of Holmesian Lore...
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Date: 2007-05-11 01:06 pm (UTC)Your Owl is a sweetheart, but I'm not quite sure how to make him rock! In any case, he fits your style so well I'd really feel like I was stealing something...
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Date: 2007-05-09 07:59 pm (UTC)And I do wonder what Holmes was up to all morning. I have no doubt we'll be enlightened in time.
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Date: 2007-05-10 12:53 pm (UTC)Watson's reaction to the brick wall was one of the reasons why they went in the back way - Weaselby wouldn't have been able to persuade two such sceptics as Holmes and Watson to walk through a brick wall together, and if he took one and left the other behind creating a row it would be bad for Wizarding Secrecy.
Or we could just imagine that the wall hadn't been set up yet. The Wizarding world wouldn't have had trains for very long, after all!
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Date: 2007-05-09 09:53 pm (UTC)So, there's a Muggle back entrance to Platform 9 3/4, eh? Now that I think about it, I suppose it'd be necessary for the Muggle-born students to get in that way; it's not like their parents could get through the front barrier.
And I suspected that you'd give us another Holmes brother: the wizard one, of course. :)
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Date: 2007-05-10 12:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-10 01:04 pm (UTC)(plus that would be altogether too much like hard work...)
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Date: 2007-05-10 08:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-10 01:04 pm (UTC)They went in the back way because getting two grown, sceptical men through a brick wall at the same time without creating some sort of scene was beyond my powers of description! But there's no reason why the wall should have been installed there at all - after all, wizards are conservative types and they probably haven't had trains for long...
And yes - it was indeed a brother - well spotted. Further revelations to come...
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Date: 2007-05-09 10:08 pm (UTC)You kept the style of Conan Doyle very well. I'm looking forward to the next chapter...
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Date: 2007-05-10 01:07 pm (UTC)And there's going to be at least one very big Phineas Nigellus/Holmes showdown before they've done, yes...
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Date: 2007-05-10 02:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-09 10:20 pm (UTC)Another intriguing chapter - your Watson-voice is excellent, and I'm intrigued to know what the dirty laundry was about....
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Date: 2007-05-10 01:10 pm (UTC)Thank you - I'm enjoying writing in this style far more than is healthy - must just pray it doesn't stray into minutes, examiners' comments or the like...
The dirty laundry does have its purpose - more of that later!
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Date: 2007-05-10 01:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-10 01:11 pm (UTC)The next episode should be out quite soon, I hope...
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Date: 2007-05-10 05:16 am (UTC)(I have a huge crush on Arthur Conan Doyle after reading Arthur and George, by the way.)
I slept but poorly that night due to the thumps, crashes and curses that issued from next door, as Holmes attempted to muster his possessions for the trip ahead.
Bwah! That would so be me, I'm afraid, keeping Watson awake.
either has Holmes’s assistant
Typo, I think? Should be 'as'.
I do feel for Watson! I'm dying to know what's behind Holmes's attitude to wizards, and to Phineas especially (although I suppose part of that could just be down to politics & Muggle-borns). Anyway, you leave us with the dreaded TO BE CONTINUED, so I shall leave you with: rite mor, plz!
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Date: 2007-05-10 01:15 pm (UTC)If you want a novel, I like "The Hound of the Baskervilles" best. If you'd rather have short stories, the earlier series tend to be best - towards the end Conan Doyle was not really enjoying writing Holmes any more, and it shows at times. I think the first volume is "The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes".
The BBC does some very nifty radio dramatisations as well, if you can get hold of them - very true to the spirit of the original books.
rite mor, plz
Thx - will do! Cheers!
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Date: 2007-05-11 09:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-10 06:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-10 01:16 pm (UTC)Thanks - I'm glad you enjoyed it!
And there will be a lot more Marchmont next chapter - which I hope will be up before too long.
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Date: 2007-05-10 12:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-10 01:18 pm (UTC)I have a Complete Sherlock Holmes at home, and it's given me hours and hours of harmless pleasure - as well as being very useful to me right now!
The BBC does a pretty nifty radio dramatisation with Clive Merrison as Holmes, if you care for that sort of thing.
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Date: 2007-05-10 03:34 pm (UTC)I like Clive Merrison, so I'll look out for those.