Hazardous Herbology, anyone?

[dolorous_ett]

I've promised myself a day writing this weekend, but my story with Luna, Colin and Grawp in it has hit a wall. (Stop sniggering! it isn't funny!).

I thought I'd try my hand at an action story, which I've never done before. And I thought this was a good idea to dig out another idea that's been floating in my mind for a bit - why are there not more fics about the "minor" subjects such as Herbology?

So I've decided to combine the two, just to see where the idea takes me. Trouble is, I don't at present have enough dangers to get it really exciting. After all, you can only do so much with an Aggressive Artichoke...

You can see where I'm going by now, I'm sure. I need occupational hazards of teaching or learning Herbology, and some really dangerous plants. Just to get the ball rolling. 

If your suggestion makes it into my fic, I'll be sure to credit you. If, that is, I can make anything of this idea. In cold black and white, it's starting to look a little bit too wierd. 

***

On a completely different subject, here's a thing I gacked from winding_path:

WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR USER NAME?

Copy and past this, adding your own username in the relevant places, and removing the asterisks.

<*font color="dolorous_ett"> <*b>dolorous_ett<*/b><*/font>

Here goes...

dolorous_ett

Not bad at all - a nice, revolutionary red. I was afraid it would be something sissy and non-Dolorous like primrose yellow or pale pink.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

dangerous plants: Harry Potter and the Day of the Triffids?

Easleyweasley

[dolorous-ett.livejournal.com]

Well, it's certainly an improvement on "Harry Potter and the Unpleasant, Prickly Rash", which is about the best I've been able to come up with so far.

I think I may have to visit the Botanical Gardens tomorrow with my little notebook...

[dolorous-ett.livejournal.com]

Devil's Snare isn't a bad starting point. And from that I had the thought of Groping Gorse and Sucking Honeysuckle...

Thank you!

I'm not impressed by your colour meme - my username turns a very un-morkeleb-like cyan! >_

Still, as I recall your LJ has a snazzy black background, on which it would show up in a vibrant fashion - doesn't sound so terrible to me. Although I admit it's a long way removed from black or silver...

[catkind.livejournal.com]

Brainstorming on what nasty plants could do, in aid of getting balls rolling.

Devil's Snare covers strangling creepers. Those Mandrake thingies could be pretty nasty too.
Allergies - well, your rash, of course, or plants spraying poison as a defence mechanism, or thorny needly things, magical variant of. Or what about a magical variant on the Venus fly trap. Or what about a magical plant that parasites on humans? Or mysterious mould type things. Or huge fast-growing things taking over the school, those pesky giant beanstalks etc. Whose root system is undermining the school foundations, and blocking sunlight from the quidditch pitch - gasp, horror!
Then there are diseases your vital potions plants themselves might get. An infestation of rainbow scrudge in the school turnip patch!

[dolorous-ett.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much - those are going to be incredibly useful, though I think I'd need a novel-length fic to cram them all in!

Defence mechanisms are a particularly good thought - I could have a lot of fun with those...

And the moulds and Evil Root Systems are things that I'd never even thought of. Certainly there's potential there... hmmm... [drifts off into happy reverie...]

[bruno-greengras.livejournal.com]

Hmm. What about a plant that can only be studied at night? At daytime it curls up like a ball, looking more like a gordic knot of twisted branches that a plant, but at night it unfolds its leaves and flowers. A plant that needs blood to survive...?

Herbology could also include fungi, perhaps? You could find some interesting things there, I'm sure. What about seaweed? Maybe they could go under the water to collect samples? Or some mysterious plant that grows in the Forbidden Forest? If you can't find enough useful plants, maybe you could change location instead?

[dolorous-ett.livejournal.com]

More brilliant advice! I particularly liked the notion of blood-dependent plants, and Things That Come Out At Night.

As to the location, I was initially thinking of a showdown in one of Prof. Sprout's really scary greenhouses - one of the ones not even other members of staff feel quite comfortable visiting. But underwater and Forbidden Forest are other possibilities, and perhaps more suited to an action story. If I have what it takes to do action - all the sketches for this so far seem a bit wimpish.

That said, I've thought of a very sinister twist to Hanging Baskets...

[bruno-greengras.livejournal.com]

Hmm. For more action you could perhaps combine everything you've got so far? A blood-drinking plant, only a special sort of seaweed can go in as a substitute for "dinner". And when the kids finally get the seaweed they give it too much, so it takes over the whole school, sending in its roots to drain blood from the shivering children hiding in the towers? =)

Sorry, sorry. *backs away* I tend to run away with things. ;)

What's a Hanging Basket?

[dolorous-ett.livejournal.com]

Wow... That's a seriously creepy notion. It would certainly be action-filled!

I'll admit that I wasn't thinking quite along those lines... but the wretched story seems to be redefining itself on the hour, every hour just now. It seems determined to rewrite itself as social comedy - to the point where I've gone back to the Colin-Luna-Grawp fic while the plant ideas calm down a bit.

What's a Hanging Basket?

A hanging basket is one of those nasty, unnatural wire baskets people like to dangle above their windows, filled with plants. They look pretty at first, but over the course of the summer become more and more depressing, especially if not watered frequently. I don't think it's natural to hang plants in the air (with the exception of things like Spanish moss which are just plain wierd), but they are just a harmless, bourgeois affectation.

My hanging baskets, on the other hand, are more like little food stores for whatever large, carnivorous plant I finally choose to have prowling round Greenhouse 13. Think that tree where the spiders hung the dwarves in The Hobbit.

By the way, are you Kaiser Soezay?

[bruno-greengras.livejournal.com]

Ah, *that* sort of hanging basket. I thought it might be a nickname for a plant or something. ;) Like the idea, by the way.

By the way, are you Kaiser Soezay?
Sorry to disappoint you, but no - I'm just bruno.

*looks around at all the plot bunnies that has started to eat Pavonis' journal* Maybe we could sell them?

[dolorous-ett.livejournal.com]

By the way, are you Kaiser Soezay?
Sorry to disappoint you, but no - I'm just bruno.

I know you are - I've read several of your stories and discussed elf-breeding with you. I actually meant your icon. (The greatest trick Bruno ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. And like that... he's gone.)

*looks around at all the plot bunnies that has started to eat Pavonis' journal* Maybe we could sell them?

Maybe... though we'd better keep some by as fodder for the plants. Things could get pretty nasty round here if all that dangerous vegetation gets too hungry...

[bruno-greengras.livejournal.com]

*scratches head* I'm man-well. I'm from Barcelona.

Okay, you lost me, but I'm enjoying the ride nevertehless. ;) Maybe the plants could do an Anne Rice and survive on Pettigrew and rabbit's blood. *nods* That way we won't have to sacrifice the Weasleys. Yet.

[dolorous-ett.livejournal.com]

The Kaiser Soezay (sp?) thing. I was wondering if your icon of a sinister man lighting a cigarette with the light behind him was taken from the film The Usual Suspects - right at the start when he's about to kill the Gabriel Byrne character on the boat.

Maybe the plants could do an Anne Rice and survive on Pettigrew and rabbit's blood. *nods* That way we won't have to sacrifice the Weasleys. Yet.

LOL!

I'll tell you one thing, though - I don't care how dangerous the plants are, if they do an Anne Rice and attempt to write a fanfic on the Bible, they're going straight in the compost heap, every last leaf...

[bruno-greengras.livejournal.com]

Well, about the icon - I don't know. I wanted an icon with a person smoking in an alley, and that's what I got. Don't know where it's from.

Jesus/Judas OTP! ;)
You're fun. Mind if I friend you?

[dolorous-ett.livejournal.com]

Yes, please do! Charmed to make your acquaintance!

And I'll friend you back, if I may.

[bruno-greengras.livejournal.com]

The pleasure is all mine. ;)

[bufo-viridis.livejournal.com]

A hanging basket is one of those nasty, unnatural wire baskets people like to dangle above their windows, filled with plants.

A hanging basket played and important role and met a proper nasty end in one of the chapters in Kipling's Stalky & Co. He has lots to say about what kind of people are hanging their baskets.

Down with Hanging Baskets!

[dolorous-ett.livejournal.com]

Down with Hanging Baskets!

I was about to add: "Yeah, string 'em up, it's the only language they understand!"... but that just encourages them, doesn't it?

*groan* It's my livejournal - I can make rubbish jokes if I want to!

[krisomniac.livejournal.com]

Way late on this conversation, but I was just twiddling around LJ this evening, minding my own business (or rather, minding other people's business because that's really what blogging is all about) and I ran across this statement:

You can only do so much with an Aggressive Artichoke... I need occupational hazards of teaching or learning Herbology

ACK! Herbology might just be one of the most FRIGHTENING subjects to teach!
Just think about it, DADA teachers don't bring werewolves and vampires into class with them (I know. I know.) and the worst thing that happens in a potions lab is a minor explosion or poisoning. Herbology, on the other hand, requires that you personally groom the venemous tentacula, that you trim the whomping Willow's beard. There is no end to the number of violent and deadly plants in JKR's world -- and that's just exploring canon.

Not to mention; have you ever wondered what happens to the ghosts of all those potted herbs that die of neglect on suburban window sills? One day they will rise up: Zombie Herbs from Hell, and they will have their revenge.

Only so much you can do with an Aggressive Artichoke, indeed. It's the artichoke with a vendetta that you must worry about.

:)

[krisomniac.livejournal.com]

Oh, and KrisLaughs is me. KrisLaughs I am.

[dolorous-ett.livejournal.com]

A charming colour. Suits you.

[dolorous-ett.livejournal.com]

A very good point on the dangers of herbology. Professor Sprout must be a heck of a lot tougher than she looks.

have you ever wondered what happens to the ghosts of all those potted herbs that die of neglect on suburban window sills? One day they will rise up: Zombie Herbs from Hell, and they will have their revenge.

Rings all too true. I have a nasty feeling I'm about to be stalked by the ghost of a dehydrated poinsettia out for blood... help!

Only so much you can do with an Aggressive Artichoke, indeed. It's the artichoke with a vendetta that you must worry about.

Funnily enough, my last-story-but-one ended up with an Agressive Artichoke escaping a Malfoy dinner party in Hermione's evening bag, so perhaps it could be seeking to avenge its fellows that perished, ripped apart and dipped in a smoking red sauce...

It would need to be not only an artichoke with a grudge, but an artichoke with a Time-Turner, though, as the fic in which it previously featured is post-Hogwarts.

[krisomniac.livejournal.com]

an artichoke with a Time-Turner

Hahahaa. *trying to imagine said artichoke turning its turner... the logistics may be too much for my little brain past midnight.*