TV Ads!

[dolorous_ett]

Rather than wangst about some bad news I had today (which doesn't affect me personally but is pretty close to proof positive that the rain rains more on the just than the unjust), I thought you might be more entertained by something I found on the BBC website - the unwritten rules of TV ads.

1. Shop staff always greet you with a smile and answers your questions in a professional manner.
Joe Cole, Winnersh

2.

All dogs are happy and stupid. All cats have impeccable taste.
Mike, London

3.

Mothers never ever shout at their offspring, and have endless patience.
Shirley, Guildford Surrey

4.

Chocolate bars come out of hand bags/top pockets facing forwards, pause for a moment on their journey upwards in the half in/half out state (of hand bag/top pocket) and finally they are opened, perfectly, by simply pulling at the top outermost corner of the wrapping.
Ed Reilly, Birmingham

5.

People who talk to the viewer never seem to be noticed by the people around them (i.e. their family, friends, co-workers).
Ally, London

6.

If you have dyed red hair you are glamorous and sexy. If you have natural red hair then by all accounts you have a problem.
Sarah, London

7.

Cat food smells delicious to humans.
Ian, Redditch

8.

Bars are not sweaty, smoky places with very drunk people in them
Catherine, Birmingham

9.

Shaving is always performed to music, semi-naked and accompanied by a blonde woman in a towel.
Lorraine, St Albans, UK

10.

Young people always live in fantastic flats.
Jason, London

11.

You only ever wash one item at a time in your washing machine.
Nigel, London

12.

It's possible to take great photos with a camera phone.
Mark Shearman, Bath, UK

13.

Pieces of chewing gum only ever fall from their packet in pairs into the hands of the gum eater.
James, London

14.

It is totally acceptable and quite normal behaviour to go around kissing babies' bottoms.
Dan, UK

15.

Soldiering is portrayed as being on a challenging outward-bound course
Ralph, London

16.

Any advert so obscure that you have no idea what it is about will be revealed to be a car advert in the final half-second.
Steve, Kernow, UK

17.

Black people don't exist - or at least they don't buy anything.
Vickie, Leeds

18.

Women suffer from constipation, men suffer from piles.
Adam Higgitt, Baldock, Herts

19.

People with regional accents are always friendly and helpful.
Stephen, Bristol, UK

20.

Buying a sofa will not only improve your life beyond measure, it'll also make you and your family beautiful.
Alfie, Cambridge, UK

21.

Teenage "sufferers" of acne will only ever have one completely invisible spot, for which they will apply a product which will not only clear the spot, but also miraculously solve all other social issues they might be having.
Russell, Derby, England

22.

Slim, young, sexy, beautiful women are invariably and inexplicably married to frumpy, dumpy, pudgy - and quite often balding - middle-aged men.
Katherine, Toronto, Ontario, Canada

23.

If senior women are smiling and dancing they must be wearing an adult diaper.
Debra, Germany

24.

Cars never sound like cars revving and changing gear, but the gentle sound of a hollow breeze.
Rob Sanders, London

25.

Cats are always fed by women.
Mike Knell, Swindon

26.

All people are heterosexual.
David, Hove, UK

27.

All vicars look like twits.
Aubrey Vaughan, Leicester UK.

28.

Married women are *nearly* sexy. (I believe there is an ad industry formula for this.)
Ade , Cheltenham, UK

29.

Dogs in adverts never sniff your crotch.
Colin, Glenrothes, Scotland

30.

Andie McDowell never ages.
Paul T Horgan, Bracknell, UK

31.

Carol Vordeman knows everything.
Dan, Kent

32.

Everything is or will be great
Lewis, London

33.

Technology works.
Dan, Newquay, UK

Or visit the article at source, here.

ETA: Forgot to mention that if anyone has any more to add, I'd be most pleased to see them.

Comments

[dolorous-ett.livejournal.com]

27. All vicars look like twits.
This one is true, as far as I know. :)

I've seen some very good examples of the breed - but not true for all. One of the vicars I know is a dead ringer for Fat Tony from the Simpsons. It's uncanny.